She told me her group of friends have been talking about experimenting with alcohol. She said they would be "safe". Holy crap. Seriously, this is the kid I have been so proud of because of the good choices she HAS been making. How she has left friend groups because they have started "partying". I thought John and I have actually done something right. We had raised her good. Great morals. Open communication. The ability for her to completely be herself.
Well, that is what she is doing. She is completely being herself. She is expressing to me her thoughts and desires and she was asking for my feedback. My feedback...
My feedback included of the immediate feeling to vomit on the floor. Immediate stomach cramps. Immediate red flags saying NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I expressed this to her and her words to me were "Well, if you want open communication, you are not going to get it anymore". This made me SO sad, SO HEART SICK AND SAD. I cannot agree with this AND I told her that. However, I too was a teenager, and I was not totally innocent. I CAN say, I was better than my sister and my friends. I also grew up in a small town and didn't even see marijuana until college and STILL haven't seen all the other stuff that is out there. She is growing up in a completely different place AND time.
Part of this is selfish too. I worry about what people will think of John and I as parents. BECAUSE, kids talk, and now she will be lumped in with the "rest" of them who party. A bigger part of me is worried because she doesn't know exactly what this is like. She doesn't understand how you think you can do anything. You think you act normal and you don't. You think you are invincible and her brain just isn't ready for this yet. She doesn't get that when she makes this choice and shares it with her brother, it is going to give him permission in his head to do it too. She doesn't get that if she gets caught, this could impact her future. If she drives and kills someone, she can go to jail, This is more than just experimenting. This is RISKY behavior, and I want more for my children than that. I don't care if she thinks I am being closed minded. This is something I cannot get behind her on. I will not be that parents who okays this in high school. I will not be that parent who has to keep secrets from friends because I hear things about their children. NOT after the car accident this fall. I can't believe she is even considering this because of how she reacted from Trushna. and the accident. I totally understand this age and how kids think they know everything. I just am sad that she thinks this is an okay path to go down just because she is in high school. I can't believe she is OKAY with now being clumped into the same category as girls like Olivia and the other "populars". I am just sick to my heart.
I don't want her to close herself off to me. I just want her to make the right choice in this situation. I let it go when she told me about how "far" she went with her boyfriend. She wasn't in a life and death situation. Drugs and alcohol are TOTALLY different. Your judgement is impaired and even though your friends "SAY" they are okay, their judgement is impaired and because YOUR judgement is impaired, you are now risking your life. Call me an over reactor, whatever, There was at least ONE person killed or critically injured in my high school every year because of bad choices with alcohol. That was a small high school. Her school is quadruple the size. The incident with her classmates can easily AND will be repeated if more people think it is "OKAY" to say yes.
I am heart sick.