It is the last day of confirmation. The last kid to go through the program.  I am so sad at the moment.  This virus has changed everything and I feel the kids are glad they don't have to be somewhere in person, and don't realize how much they are missing. That alone makes me sad. 

I hope we can at least have our Confirmation weekend where Kaia gets to go through the ceremony.  Please delay it so she can have that experience. 

Feeling really sad right now.  I remember this night for 8th graders was emotional, special, unique, and memorable.  I am just so bummed. 

What have my pups been up to?  Well., we discovered pork and Lily don't get along after 2 nights of her keeping me awake most of the night.  
HOWEVER, through that, I discovered I am really creative when sleep deprived and have been getting a lot of things done. 

Jackson like watching the corner of our yard for squirrels.  We have a bird feeder which is now empty because of the little animals. I am tempted to put it in the middle of our yard just for something more fun to watch. I picture an episode of Sylvester and Tweety. Jackson and the squirrel :) The squirrel would learn to tease Jack, and in all Jack's spare time, he would come up with ways to trick the squirrel, trap him, and then.... Seriously.  I wonder about the what then... I picture him getting the squirrel in between his paws, looking at it with surprise, and then, licking it. I can't see him as a killer. 
Lily however, would come along and steal the squirrel, biting it exactly where she knows would do the job. She is a monster in a small dog body. Mostly love, with a streak of vicious. 

We have been able to go on walks again now that the weather has warmed up. It was a long winter with many days Jackson sitting staring up at his leash.  It truly sucks that I have Raynauds and can only handle being outside for about 20 minutes before my fingers freeze and it becomes too painful. I know I have said it before, but I will move south for the winter someday. 

Jackson has been so patient and I plan on rewarding him with as many walks as possible during the next 6-7 months. 

That's about it. Nothing super huge happening. Just the start of squirrel hunting season :) 

So many people have all these covid home improvement stories. I don't. I have been working more than ever creating systems for myself and my teams and I am okay with this. 
No need to brag on FB.
I am so happy the weather is nicer so we can get outside and walk the dogs. YAY!!!  I am so happy I have a product people need and want and that I am helping others create safer homes. 
I am so happy I have a business that continues to support our family. 
I am so happy I have a husband who still has a job. 
I am so happy we are all healthy. 
I am so happy we have this time together.
I am so happy.

Now to just get rid of the COVID weight gain....  I will start Monday.

I LOVE my online business, however in order to streamline everything so I can have MORE time, I feel like I am spending A LOT OF TIME streamlining. 
I am thankful I can do it, but want it to be done. 

So thankful for the fact I am learning what John does for work. I have listened before, but am actually learning.
I am thankful for zoom. It has helped me continue to communicate with my peeps. 
I am thankful for our families peace. We all get along. We are all so chill. We all just work great together. I LOVE our family. 

OMG. You showed up.  you WERE in the background picture. You were....

I feel like this COVID time has brought about so many different feelings and experiences and I know I need to start a journal about our experience. I need to talk about what I am grateful for.  
I LOVE that our girls are so connected. They talk through the vents, have sleepovers, and just GET along. Thank you for this. 

Quinn.  I wish you had a brother, but you don't. However I will tell you as a sister who LOVES her brother, embrace your sisters and cherish their friendship. You don't have to have a sleepover with them, but communicate. COMMUNICATE with them. 
They love you. 

​

I am just going to touch on this briefly and then I will move on. Your storming out of the room is dumb.  Sometimes I wish you would stay and fight to earn your argument as to why you feel you should storm out of the room. 

You have an idea.  We listen, maybe not agree, and as soon as we go against what you want to hear, you turn your ears off and leave the conversation. You can fight this ALL you want, but if you reflect on what was discussed, you will know that you stomp off way too early. Stay and fight Taite.  Let your voice be heard, but always keep that ear out for the opinion that may be different from yours and may or may not be right.. 

I actually have a thought some people may actually identify with.  
What do "Stay at home mom's" worry about?  

The reason I ask is this.  I have always wanted to be exactly that: a stay at home mom and my main job is to take care of the house and kids. To be able to wake up, worry about these tasks, grocery shop, clean the house, prepare dinner, maybe work out... This honestly sounded so great!! Who out there agrees with me???  Here is the reality. 

I have always wanted this and I got it.  I am that blessed mom with all these amazing perks of life, but I have one problem... I decided to start my own business. 

Tomorrow I am going to the mall.  I am going to finish my holiday gift shopping.  I am going with my college daughter who is home for a month, and my friend who is a stay at home mom.  I AM A stay at home mom.  I am. I am available for my children whenever they need me, however I have a dirty little secret. I have my own business and as much as I want to be present for them all the time, I think about my business A LOT. 

I am working tonight to get things done so I can relax as little bit more but I am mid month of a holiday month WITH team members going through a promotion.  I have to check in occasionally but not constantly.  However, I still have to check in. I can't just ignore my biz because I am behind on my shopping !! THIS is my life. I LOVE my life.  I honestly do. I get to choose my schedule and when I work.  I GET to go shopping when I want, I get to work when I want.  This all sounds great right?  Here is the deal. All those sentences I just said are followed by guilt.  Guilt of me constantly thinking of my business and not being able to be with there 100% mentally ( I do want to say I would not change my experience for the world because I GET to be there). 

Here is my question.  I always wanted to be a stay at home mom which I get to be while providing an income for my family, so I feel I have the best of both worlds.
I want to know what real stay at home mom's with no outside work feel?  Do you love it? Do you love it for a little bit?  Do you crave something else?, Are you really content and Fulfilled?  Seriously, are you fulfilled? When do you get to a place you WANT to do something else?  Do you 100% faith in your spouse you are their #1? 

I have so many questions! I am not trying to make anyone mad.  I just feel as someone who has lived both sides, which side to I enjoy?  I enjoy the side with the money I make now.  I envy the side where I have only family responsibility. However, I have met enough women to know that the latter is a life that people seek, but that comes with it's own consequences of wondering if "I am enough" .

I am seriously curious as to what to true "STAY AT HOME" moms think about and worry about. Are they content?