I know this entry is going to be strange, but my head feels heavy and I don't know why. LIKE physically heavy. hmmm. I have been running so fast the last couple of weeks with my daughter's grad party and all the business things I have been doing that I think I need a vacation. WAIT... I have one coming up. This girl will be off of work from July 3-the 12th!! YIPEE!!! I get to travel with Taite to California to celebrate her graduation. This is where she was born and I am SO excited to show her all around our most frequented spots. My mom is coming too. This is going to be PERFECT!!! Yay. Off to walk my dogs now!
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AS I sit here writing, working on the last part of my yummy omelet with Jackson staring at me, hoping for that last morsel of egg to be passed onto him, I think back on my morning.
It all started fairly well. The normal over sleep my alarm, or should I say, pushing snooze too many times, Waking Kaia from her slumber with the warning of "We have 10 minutes before we should leave", followed by the beg to skip Select Choir toay, and met with me saying "No, get up." After feeding Kaia breakfast, making her lunch, and driving her to school, I return home to get confirmation that Quinn will be picked up for school. GOOD. Now I can do the dishes, and walk on the treadmill, because it is too cold to go on a morning walk I push it is little more on the treadmill today so I can justify my cutting my workout a little short due to the need to get ready so I can attend a 10 a.m. ribbon cutting for a new art studio in my little town. I really do appreciate and love art (but not the modern art). After a long hot shower to wash away my horrible smell, I dressed in my "go out for the day" clothes, put on a little make-up, and jumped on the computer to answer just a few messages before I walk out the door for the 5 minute drive to the studio. As I arrived at the studio, it looked a little dark. I was a few minutes early so I sat in my car, listening to a new book, and began checking my email to see if I missed something about a possible cancellation. There is was. An email sent on the 21st with a reminder about the snacks and beverages that will be provided at the ribbon cutting on the 22nd of May. I look at my phone. It is May 23rd. WHAT A DING DONG!!! I missed it. I was seriously looking forward to it, but obviously not enough to pay attention to what day of the week it was. Oh well. Now, I am seriously all dressed up with nowhere to go. I drive around the corner to the post office to drop off the second wave of graduation invites for Taite's up and coming party, and then decide to go and get gas and maybe a coffee. Would the coffee interfere with the fasting program I was trying to follow? Hmmm. Calculate the time: 10:15, 9 hours of eating, Done with food for the day at 7:15. Okay. I can do this. I skipped the pump of mint and just went for the soy cappuccino from StarBucks. I reached into my purse and pulled out my peppermint essential oil and put 2 drops into my cup. THERE. perfect 0 calorie mint flavoring. Now what?? I contemplated calling Taite and going out for a spontaneous breakfast, but then decided I didn't want to make that sort of commitment this a.m. I DO have to get some work done. I thought about meeting John for a spontaneous lunch, but then had the same thought. I need to make something positive happen in my work today. Anything. Plus, I kind of want to take work off tomorrow, or at least half of the day. Upon returning to home, I continued to listen to my book and began chopping vegetables for my omelet I had committed to making. While the sauteed veggies cooled, I quickly ran upstairs to put my "going out clothes" carefully back in the closet to be worn another day. I put on a pair of comfy black leggings that go high enough on my waist to "tuck" things into the places they should be, and put on a stripped shirt that could pass for running errands without totally looking like a slob. I finished up my omelet while thinking about how easy it would be to just talk to myself about all the things that are going through my head while creating this yummy food, and then have it transcribed automatically to my computer so I wouldn't have to sit and type. Believe it or not, I actually do have a hand help recorder that is supposed to do just that. Where is it though... Taite comes into the kitchen while I am cleaning up and waiting for my omelet to cool. She wants to use the upstairs computer, which is fine. I should be working in my office anyway, as it is more private. She asks me what I do all day at the computer while I am working. As she is piling my stuff and carrying it downstairs for me, I explain to her all the mundane things that go into my job as a direct sales consultant. When I say the things out loud, I am reminded how I lose focus, so really everything I just told her should take about half the time, but I do things like this... Begin writing. Now I am at my computer and my brain is telling me I need to get back to work and make something good happen in my business today. Something, anything. What is it that I want to happen today?? Well, I really want my casual consultants to place their orders so I can get paid on title. I REALLY want that. I want to complete my customer service emails so that can be out of my brain and I will sleep better. I want to get orders from the facebook parties I have done this week so that means messaging people and making sure they know when the party closes. Wait, that is why I pay for Postmyparty. I want to go to the post office with my catalog mailings for my casuals with the hopes that when they see the catalog they will want to order RIGHT NOW!!! Okay. The mailings should really happen first. It took me writing everything down to realize that, and that is what I am going to do. SO, signing off for now as the "direct sales guru of leadership and customer care" . Toodles, The Spectacular and Amazing Sarah Oh my gosh. I love you both. I know you don't like to share the space with me. You have your places. Lily in the bed at night and beneath my feet at my computer. Jack, you lie in your bed by the kitchen. Lily likes to steal this, but you know it is truly yours. You are just nice.
Jackson, is wherever I am. Always watching me carefully. It is like he will forever protect me when something comes my way. He is always watching out for me. I can see it in his incredibly calm calm eyes. As I write this, I am going to go into a little paranoia. I feel like lately, I haven't been as fun as my husband wants me to be. Yes, our love life has been fine for you all you perverts out there. We are more regular than most couples I know. Oh my gosh, for those who are wondering, we do it one to two times a week. (sorry kids :) ). Any way, Jack & Lily are sleeping soundly not only next to me, but next to each other. I invited them both to come to bed and they both said "yes, with their body language. They both allowed me to cover them up and rest so peacefully. I know Jack, especially is comfortable because he is still. Seriously. Today I was walking with Jack. We went on a "walk run" and Lily was not invited.... We just move to fast for the experience to be successful. We need to burn as many calories as possible in a short amount of time. ANYWAY... That is a side note.
'As we rounded a corner with our pond on our left hand side, there were so many Mallard ducks lying in the grass. It was so peaceful. Jackson does not get excited for the ducks. It is like he knows they have almost a "twin" resemblance with their smooth heads. Mallards are wiener dogs with wings. If I had a duck as a pet, I would imagine him to be like my pups. Loyal, cuddly, and SO stubborn. Anyway, as we rounded the literal corner and the ducks were lying in the grass, Jack and I could not ignore the sound of the frogs. As we turned the corner we could hear the frogs chirping loudly. The ducks lie soundly in the grass while the frogs go crazy. Then, the ducks begin to walk towards the water leaving their comfort spots on the growing grass. As they begin their decent to the pond below quacking a continuous sound, the frogs stop chirping. It truly is the strangest thing when it is like they realize someone may be watching them sing a solo that they know may land them as the next American Idol, but are not brave enough to sing to the casual walker byer. The frogs went silent. The ducks quacked a continuous quack. THEN, all was silent. It was like they were communicating. Suddenly, ONE frog began a sound which sounded like a non threatening alarm, but one of warning for the ducks and other wildlife in the area. The lone frog went from a chirp to a type of yodel. The ducks and frogs responded with silence as Jackson and I made our way through their area. When we were about 1 foot past their pond they began to make their noises again. Seriously, with their small eyes, can they really see us?? It may be the vibration in the ground, but it was obvious they knew we were there. I believe there is a kind frog and the ducks listen to him. I think there is something to be said of the kind frog in our lives. The small being with the loud voice. How many of you know a frog in your life. This person may be a small part of your day but after observation you see how much they have a HUGE impact. Who is your frog?? It is almost 3 a.m. and I am sitting in the family wait room in the hospital My brother had a seizure a few hours ago, shortly after arriving home from an in home party. He seemed sober. He seemed like he was just tired. Little did I know, he had drank before we left for the party and then snuck alcohol at the gas station, then had 2 shots of whiskey when we got home. 15 minutes later, he was seizing.
They say this is from withdrawal. That at his state of the disease going just a few hours without a drink can bring on a seizure. A few hours... This is far as I got that night. My life has been a little different since then but I am not going to write about it now. Last night I had a realization. After talking to Taite about her view of God and feeling I had failed her in some way, it occurred to me I had not.
I have always taught my kids to be kind and good. To do good deeds for others. Be selfless in actions, and to overall just be a good person. When we were discussing mission trips and Taite said she does not want to do something like this because God is telling her to, she wants to do something like this because SHE wants to. She lives her life wanting to be kind and good and I GAVE her that. I taught her that. So, whether she believes or not, she is going out in the world to do good and if she doesn't recognize it as sharing God's love, I still can secretly do that. She will find her way on her own and whether that path leads to a strong belief in God, or just having faith in humanity, it is her path to follow and discover. No matter what. I am proud of her. I want a business that I am able to...
When I look at that list I ask myself: What do I see, what am I already accomplishing, and how do I accomplish the rest? So if you are reading this please know that I have accomplished most already of what is above. There are so many of these things I want to maintain or grow. These things have not come easily. IN FACT, most people are snuggling in their beds on a Sunday night watching their favorite TV show. On the other hand, I have just finished a FB party, booked a party for May, and coached future hosts in how to do things. I have spent the last few years sacrificing time with my family so I can build a life many people want to lead. The life I want to lead involves everything above and the benefit of it all are these things:
In this horrible dismal winter we are experiencing, I saw a ray of sunshine today. I saw it in the wag of the tail from my silky loving wiener. Man I love that dog.
He was assisting me in the drive to school today. Making sure I was watching the road and making sure his human sibling finished her breakfast. The sun was shinning and it was actually light out. It truly felt like spring today and Jackson could feel it too. He was looking out the window with his tail wagging so hard his butt jiggled, and he kept looking at me while making a slight "whining" sound that was basically asking me "Did you see that?". It was like he could feel the unseen movement of the slumbering squirrels. He could feel them waking up, and he was letting me know he was ready. He is ready for the chase. This has been the LONGEST winter. Jackson has been so patient, but it is time to get back on the hunt and all the gazing up at the unmoving leash is going to pay off because patience and persistent always ends in success. Jackson's success is in the wait. It is almost time little buddy. Squirrels are coming... |
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